Funny Story,
I just added this hit counter thingo to my blog, cause I like to know I'm appreciated!! Anyway, it turns out not being able to spell is actually a good thing!
The only new hits on the blog were from someone searching for baked rissotto - turns out they can't spell either and my blog is number one for misspelt rissotto!!
Hey - if you come back - just message me and I'll send you the recipe, it's good, we're having it again tonight!!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Grief
(as an aside to start with, I just have to let you know, it took me three tries to spell that title correctly, I think it's correct now?)
Our birds died the other day. Not just your average budgies, but two hand tame 9 year old cockatiels. They should have lived for around another 5 years or so, and we are very upset. We don't know what happened, something strange for them both to go at the same time. This situation highlighted to me that I am not good at grief.
I did the same thing when my Grandmother died. I'm not sure what the stages of grief are supposed to me, I'll look them up one day, but the one I go for first is self blame. In fact, I don't even know if that is a stage!
With Nana i blamed myself for not visiting often enough, for not praying enough, for her being alone when she died, I felt guilty for not enjoying our visits enough and for not telling her how much I loved her enough. I still feel somewhat this way, especially when there's an episode of some show with a person dying surrounded by thier loving family. I mean, Nana had a loving family, and we visited her, but at the actual moment, she was alone.
Then when the birds died, I blamed myself for neglecting them, for not checking on them often enough, for not letting them out of thier cage enough etc etc. I can't even greive (so seriously cannot spell that word) for them properly because of the huge ball of guilt in my stomach.
Another part of my problem is I think I over attach. I still cry about my dog that died 9 years ago. I guess it's better than being detached, but it hurts more.
I just did a bit of web browsing and found quite a helpfull article. Here's the link
www.counselingforloss.com/article8.htm
this one's good too.
www.mentalhealth.asn.au/resources/grief_and_loss.htm
Hey, the web is actually a usefull tool, I feel better after reading those. I'm not as disfunctional as i thought! perhaps a bit heavy on the guilt and attachment, but not too crazy!
Our birds died the other day. Not just your average budgies, but two hand tame 9 year old cockatiels. They should have lived for around another 5 years or so, and we are very upset. We don't know what happened, something strange for them both to go at the same time. This situation highlighted to me that I am not good at grief.
I did the same thing when my Grandmother died. I'm not sure what the stages of grief are supposed to me, I'll look them up one day, but the one I go for first is self blame. In fact, I don't even know if that is a stage!
With Nana i blamed myself for not visiting often enough, for not praying enough, for her being alone when she died, I felt guilty for not enjoying our visits enough and for not telling her how much I loved her enough. I still feel somewhat this way, especially when there's an episode of some show with a person dying surrounded by thier loving family. I mean, Nana had a loving family, and we visited her, but at the actual moment, she was alone.
Then when the birds died, I blamed myself for neglecting them, for not checking on them often enough, for not letting them out of thier cage enough etc etc. I can't even greive (so seriously cannot spell that word) for them properly because of the huge ball of guilt in my stomach.
Another part of my problem is I think I over attach. I still cry about my dog that died 9 years ago. I guess it's better than being detached, but it hurts more.
I just did a bit of web browsing and found quite a helpfull article. Here's the link
www.counselingforloss.com/article8.htm
this one's good too.
www.mentalhealth.asn.au/resources/grief_and_loss.htm
Hey, the web is actually a usefull tool, I feel better after reading those. I'm not as disfunctional as i thought! perhaps a bit heavy on the guilt and attachment, but not too crazy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)